| BOWSIE | (THE MONOTONOUS DRONE OF A TEDIOUS YOUTH, TO US) A sunny day as perfect as that one: how often? Once a year. No. Once every two years. And how long does youth last? Ten years? No. Less. Much less its full bloom. Four or five years, I'd say. So just two, three-if-you're-lucky such days in a man's entire youth! And after youth what is there? ... regret, regret, decline and death. I've always been such a cheerful person. And I've nearly two years of youth left1 Joy! Joy! I was telling you about that sunny day last summer. There'll not be one as good this year, I don't think. I'd walked to work as usual but went straight past the gate. Mr Minto saw me. But I didn't care! This would be a day for remembering fondly in my long years of regret and decline. I set out for the riverbanks to watch the girls The shortcut was through a car park - it had been a dirty field once, the circus used to pitch its tent there. Now it was a car park for the supermarket next door. |
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| (
IN DISTANCE, BANGING OF A GIRL LOOKED IN THE BOOT OF A CAR. HER GAGGED CRIES FOR HELP.) |
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I was halfway through the hole in the fence - how many girls would I see today, wiggling their naked feet in the river - when I heard a banging ... and muffled screams.
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| (
MORE BANGING. CRIES FROM THE BOOT. CLOSER..) |
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| (
EXTERIOR ACOUSTIC. BOWSIE WALKING THROUGH THE CAR PARK..) |
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| BOWSIE |
Hello? Hello?
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US)
It was early. Only a few cars in the car park. Maybe ten, none of them parked anywhere near each other. I'd hurried up to eight of them before I found the right one. I don't know what sort of car it was. I know nothing about cars. I've never owned one. I don't drive. It was a blue car, a bit rusty. It sounded like someone was locked in the boot. |
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| BOWSIE |
(EXTERIOR ACOUSTIC)
Hello? Hello? Are you in there?. |
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| (
MORE FRANTIC BANGING AND SCREAMING THROUGH A GAG. BOWSIE IS RIGHT ABOVE THE BANGING. HE TRIES THE HANDLE. HE CALLS:) |
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| BOWSIE |
I'm sorry but it seems to be locked. Hello? You're not a dog or anything?
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| (
SHE KICKS A CLANKING TUNE. HE CALLS AGAIN:) |
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| BOWSIE |
It's a joke, is it? Something to do with the supermarket. You pop out in a minute and give me a year's supply of free washing powder.
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| (
INFURIATED KICKING AND SQUEALING.) |
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
(APPROACHING, A NO-NONSENSE ATTITUDE)
What on earth are you doing, boy?. |
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| BOWSIE |
(SHYLY)
There's someone stuck the boot. |
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
Do I know you?. |
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| BOWSIE |
I don't think so.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
You haven't been sniffing glue?. |
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| BOWSIE |
No!
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
Why are you talking to yourself, then?
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| BOWSIE |
I wasn't.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
I'm a nurse, you see. Hundreds of your sort have passed through my hands. You really shouldn't do it, you know. Think of what fun you could be having, an attractive boy like you, on a beautiful day like this.
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| BOWSIE |
(BURSTING OUT LOUDLY)
There's someone stuck in the boot!!! |
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
What boot? Where?
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| BOWSIE |
This one. Here.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
Nonsense.
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| (
FRANTIC KICKING, CLANKING AND SQUEALING..) |
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
There's a woman locked in that boot!
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| BOWSIE |
I told you there was.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
Open it up, then! Let her out!
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| BOWSIE |
I would if I could.
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| MR BARDSLEY | (APPROACHING WITH A SNIFF)
Good morning. Anything I can help you with?
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
This young fool has locked his girlfriend in the boot of his car and now he can't find the keys.
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| MR BARDSLEY | (KNOWINGLY)
Ah! I see. There's been a lot of this sort of thing lately. Not here, mind. Other places. Perhaps if we get him to retrace his steps. I say, you, spotty-face, retrace your steps and we'll find where you dropped the keys.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
She could be suffocating in there!
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| BOWSIE |
But it's not my car. I don't have any keys.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
You locked her in somebody else's car!
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| BOWSIE |
She's not my girlfriend.
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| MR BARDSLEY | (KNOWINGLY)
Ah!
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| BOWSIE |
I don't know the woman! I've nothing whatsoever to do with this. I was just passing. Like you.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
What's your name?
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| BOWSIE |
M-M-Malcolm Bowsie.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
Sounds like a made-up name to me. Have you any identification?
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| BOWSIE |
No.
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| MR BARDSLEY |
I expect they'll have his face on file somewhere ... Here, maybe he murdered her, put her in the boot, but she woke up!
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
I'm going into the supermarket to find a policeman. You stay here with the boy until I get back. Do you understand?
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| MR BARDSLEY |
Yes, sir.
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
(ON HER WAY, CALLS BACK)
If he tries to get away put him in an arm lock. Manage that, can you?
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| MR BARDSLEY | (CALLS BACK)
Old soldier, me! (TO BOWSIE) Just watch it. Right? I may be old but I can still be vicious if I'm pushed.
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US)
We stood there for twenty minutes. The car park filled up a bit. The sky became more and more blue. At the back of the supermarket some girls from the bakery department were sitting on boxes, sunning themselves, with their white coats hitched up to bare their legs. Still no sign of that dreadful woman and the policeman. All the while there was kicking and screaming from the boot. |
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| MR BARDSLEY | (EXTERIOR ACOUSTIC. A HUGE SNEEZE. EXPLAINS:)
It's this hot weather, you know.. Bad for my nose. Energetic, isn't she?
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| BOWSIE |
Sorry?
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| MR BARDSLEY | Your girlfriend. (SNEEZES AGAIN.)
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| BOWSIE |
She's not my girlfriend!
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| MR BARDSLEY | Lover's tiff, was it?
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| BOWSIE |
No!
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| MR BARDSLEY | I expect she's quite a handful, eh? All that energy.
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| (
A SUDDEN SURGE OF FIERCE SQUEALING, FOLLOWED BY SILENCE:) |
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| MR BARDSLEY | Here ... she's stopped. (KNOCKS ON THE BOOT) Hello, you still there? Hello? ... She's suffocated herself, used up all the air with her thrashing about. You've killed her, you little swine!
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| BOWSIE |
(DESPERATELY TRYING THE BOOT'S HANDLE)
Maybe she's just passed out. She mightn't be dead yet! We'd better do something> Make a hole for air! Now! Quickly!!! |
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| MR BARDSLEY | What with?!!!
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| BOWSIE |
A tin opener! A spike! A bazooka! Anything!
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| MR BARDSLEY | (ON HIS WAY, SHOUTS:)
There'll be something in the supermarket. I'll be as quick as I can. Don't you dare run off, mind! They/ll only catch you and it'll be a thousand times worse.
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| (
INTERIOR ACOUSTIC. INSIDE THE BOOT..
WE HEAR FROM THE INSIDE, WITH NICOLA.) |
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| NICOLA | (SHE COUGHS)
Are you still out there? Hello?
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| BOWSIE |
(FROM OUTSIDE. SPELLING IT OUT AS IF TO A DEAF FOREIGNER)
I'm ... here... yes... Can... you... breathe? |
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| NICOLA |
I've swallowed the gag. I'm okay, I think.
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| BOWSIE |
I... have... sent... someone... to.. fetch... a...policeman ...don't ...worry ...you ...will ...be ...out ... of... there... very... soon. |
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| NICOLA |
No! No policeman! You get me out! Just you! I've got all the money in here.
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| BOWSIE |
What money? |
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| NICOLA |
Money! Bags of it! There's not a black car, is there?
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| BOWSIE |
A what?
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| NICOLA |
A black car.
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| BOWSIE |
There's several.
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| NICOLA |
Is there a one with hairy men inside?
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| BOWSIE |
(AFTER A PAUSE WHILE HE LOOKS)
They're all empty. |
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| NICOLA |
Good. Now look in the ignition. What do you see? (BOWSIE GOES. SHE SHIFTS AROUND IN THE BOOT, COUGHS, INFURIATED BY THE DELAY) WHAT DO YOU SEE??!?!?!?
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| BOWSIE |
They keys. They're in the ignition. I didn't notice before. None of us did. The door's locked, though.
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| NICOLA |
Smash in the window you dopey sod! Take the keys out of the ignition and GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!
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| (
HEARD FROM INSIDE THE BOOT: SOUND OF BOWSIE RUNNING OFF. SILENCE. SOUND OF BOWSIE RUNNING BACK.) |
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| BOWSIE |
(DELIGHTED WITH HIMSELF)
I've found a brick
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| NICOLA |
Go on, then!
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| BOWSIE |
Right!
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| (
HEARD FROM INSIDE THE BOOT: SOUND OF BOWSIE RUNNING OFF AGAIN. SOUND OF A BRICK BOUNCING OFF A CAR WINDOW. BOWSIE RUNS BACK.) |
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| BOWSIE |
It bounced off. I'll try again.
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| NICOLA |
(IN FRUSTRATION) Urrrrrrrrrrr!
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| (
HEARD FROM INSIDE THE BOOT: BOWSIE RUNNING OFF. THEN, AN ECHO CLANGING THROUGH THE BOOT: THE CRASH AND TINKLE OF THE BRICK SMASHING THROUGH THE CAR WINDOW. A CHEER FROM BOWSIE! THE SOUND OF THE CAR DOOR BEING OPENED. A DRIPPING OF GLASS. THE KEYS BEING PULLED FROM THE IGNITION. BOWSIE HURRYING AROUND TO THE BOOT..) |
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| NICOLA |
Hurry up! Hurry up!
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| BOWSIE |
(FUMBLING WITH THE KEYS, IN HIS HANDS AND THEN IN THE LOCK)
I'm just finding the right key.
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| (
HEARD FROM INSIDE THE BOOT: SOUND OF THE BOOT SPRINGING OPEN WITH A TWANG OF SPRINGS. EXTERIOR ACOUSTIC. NICOLA CLIMBING OUT. SHE TAKES A BIG BREATH OF AIR AND SIGHS WITH RELIEF.) |
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| BOWSIE |
(IN CONSIDERABLE SURPRISE AND RESERVED EXCITEMENT)
Oh! Euch!
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| NICOLA |
Untie my wrists.
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| BOWSIE |
Hadn't I better find you some ... clothes?.
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| NICOLA |
Never mind that.
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| BOWSIE |
But...
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| NICOLA |
My wrists, hurry! ... Never mind. There's people coming. Let's get out of here.
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US)
She wasn't wearing a stitch. Except for the rope tying her hands behind her back. A young woman in the full bloom of her youth! But my eyes weren't just on her ... they kept flicking back and forth between her and what was in the boot. Money! She'd broken open the bags with her kicking. Little balls of money, inches deep of them. It looked like what a millionaire might sprinkle on the floor of his hamster's cage. She kicked the boot shut with her foot. |
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| (
EXTERIOR ACOUSTIC. SLAM OF BOOT.) |
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| NICOLA |
Come on, dopey, you drive!
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| BOWSIE |
I can't!
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| NICOLA |
DRIVE!!!
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| (
SOUND OF BOWSIE BEING PUSHED INTO THE CAR AND NICOLA CLIMBING OVER HIM..) |
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| BOWSIE |
But...but... Ow! Ow!
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| NICOLA |
DRIVE! DRIVE!
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| BOWSIE |
I'm sitting on glass!
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| NICOLA |
Turn the ignition! Get us out of here!!!
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| MRS SPARBROUK |
(APPROACHING, OUT OF BREATH)
Wait! Wait! I've got your name written down, young man! |
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| NICOLA |
The clutch! That pedal there! THERE! Your foot!!!
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| (
THE ENGINE ROARS INTO LIFE. BOWSIE IS DANGEROUSLY OVER-REVVING IT.) |
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| NICOLA |
(YELLING OVER THE ENGINE NOISE) Go! Go!
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| BOWSIE |
(YELLING)
She's in the way!. |
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| NICOLA |
(YELLING) Never mind her! Go!
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| (
THE CAR SCREECHES OFF. THE ENGINE REVVING MADLY. A SCREAM FROM MRS SPARBROUK AS SHE IS RUN OVER: A BUMP AS THE FRONT TYRES GO OVER HER, ANOTHER BUMP FOR THE BACK TYRES.) |
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| NICOLA |
(A SQUEAL OF DELIGHT) That was nifty, boyo! Thought you said you couldn't drive! But you squashed her good and proper! Look, there's another one. Watch out, he's got a spike!
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| MR BARDSLEY | (YELLS AS THEY ZOOM PAST)
Here, what's your game!
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| (
THE CAR SCREECHES THROUGH THE CAR PARK, DUFFING CARS TO LEFT AND RIGHT AS IT GOES.) |
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| NICOLA |
(SINCERELY DISAPPOINTED) Aw, you missed him! (SHE GIGGLES WITH SINISTER JOY)
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US)
What a strange girl she was! If things had been different perhaps we'd be out there now, this minute, spending all those crumpled balls of money together. There was easily enough to keep us going all through our youth, into our late twenties even. But that perfect day didn't last.. As we bumped our way out of the supermarket car park I suggested to my new girlfriend that I should undo her wrists so she could take over the driving... But there was a black car following us, driven by hairy men. |
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| NICOLA |
(FRANTIC) There's no time... Put your foot down!
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| BOWSIE |
Who are those men?
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| NICOLA |
Faster! WATCH THE ROAD!
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| (
AN ANGRY BEEP OF CAR HORNS. THEY CRASH INTO A PARKED CAR. BOWSIE SCREAMS.) |
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| NICOLA |
Back up! Quick! They're catching us!
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| (
HE STARTS A RELUCTANT IGNITION. SQUEAL OF TYRES AS THE CAR BACKS UP AND ZOOMS FORWARD AGAIN, REVVING MADLY ALONG THE ROAD.) |
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| NICOLA |
Press your foot right down, as far as it'll go!
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| BOWSIE |
Who are those men?
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US, SOUND OF ZOOMING CAR LOW THROUGHOUT)
She wriggled on the seat, stepping through her hands till they were at the front. She grabbed the wheel from me and shoved one leg down to work the pedals. We zoomed through the town like a rocket, up and down every street with those men behind us, screaming for us to stop. We even passed the gates of the place where I worked. There was a moment, and I'm sure I didn't imagine it, when I saw Mr Minto sitting at his desk, sucking at his cigar. He saw me too and swallowed a mouthful of smoke. |
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| (
SCREECH OF BRAKES. FRIGHTENED BLARE OF CAR HORN. HUGE CRASHING OF THE CAR THROUGH A GLASS WINDOW. BOWSIE AND NICOLA YELL. SILENCE)... |
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| BOWSIE |
(TO US)
She was pulling the wheel one way. I was turning it the other. We went straight on at the bottom of Garibaldi Street, right through the window of Appleby's Bookshop. When I woke up I was in the back seat and the police were having a shoot-out with those hairy men. My girlfriend was sitting with her head bent back, an open book over her face... a dictionary of quotations, it was. Just as if she'd fallen asleep while she was reading on a sunny day. But she was stone dead.
Of course, they blamed me for the whole thing, The robbery, those people who got run over, the shoot-out where the hairy men got killed. Everything. It was all my fault, I've been here in clink ever since. My mother's solicitor says they may be able to get me out in a year or two, but only if I admit to the whole thing. But my youth will be all used up then, won't it? So it hardly matters. They even blame me for killing HER. They say I'm mad, that I crashed the car on purpose, But I would never have hurt HER. Nicola Kristensen was her name. I shall love her till I die. |
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